Very often, people are accused of living in the past. You will be surprised to know that there is a greater evil than this: Living in the future. Prudence is always good, but false hope is not. There is physically no way that a person can control or manipulate the past. The damage once done is done and there is absolutely no means that you can add to it. I sense confused thoughts arising here, so let me explain.
Let us first discuss the past. The actions you do in the present become your past a moment later. You may unthinkingly commit a mistake of which you think you will eternally be guilty about. This is not true. Human beings are created with the ability to forget. Though this ability does not seem to be of much help when you have misplaced important things, there are certain uses to this.
Imagine, you wrong your friend and she slaps you, your cheek stings, you cry, you fight, you vow never to speak to her again. A few days go by and the cheek bothers you no more. All you remember is the problem that arose. Give it a few months and you won’t even remember the problem. Your cheek forgets the pain and you forget the problem. Your friend and you cozy up again and everyone lives happily ever after (until the next issue creeps up).
What you can learn from this is that neither your friend nor you can turn back time and right the wrong or take back the slap. Your brain recognizes this fact and nudges you to move forward with life. The only reminder of a past mistake is guilt (unless you are a criminal). Believe it or not, guilt fades, too.
Now, the future. Everybody makes plans, everybody wishes to marry a person they love, everyone wants to be someone. A very small percentage of these dreams are realistic. Most of us are delusional and live in denial. We are taught to dream, but dreams are as much a part of your personality as your character. Strong willed people achieve their dreams. Others never achieve it because what they should have done at first is build their character to what it should be once they have achieved the dream. There are many physical limitations to this.
We are born unique and so our dreams are unique as well. You cannot borrow another person’s future. You cannot become someone you have no clue about now. There is a point in everybody’s life when they realize subconsciously that they are on the wrong path. It is very hard to make this a conscious thought. They get a few alarms and signals from the life that they are meant to live that they should be doing other things instead. Stubbornly, they do not let go of the fantasy and strive for it.
I’m sure you have heard of the story of a fly shut in a room. Even if you have, you will find a different meaning to it here. The fly bangs itself against the window of the room trying to find a way out. There is another opening to the outside world quite close by, but the fly has no clue of it. It is entirely certain that the only way out is the closed window. Sadly, the fly dies in the process. I’m trying hard here not to say some people are very like the fly and you are probably realizing it now.
I’m not here to discourage you from following their dreams, I’m here to say that you had better not be trapped in the fly-room. Learn to let go of a disillusioned future that you have envisioned, it is harder to let go than a past you can’t control. It is very important to dream big, but it is even more important to know your limitations. This is not a handicap, it is something you need to work on.
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